An astonishing discovery has been made in the Middle East. The Lost Gospel of Zebedee is an Aramaic document, written on papyrus in the 1st Century CE, and predates the earliest of the canonical gospels by at least 20 years. Dr Ursi Goldschluessel from the Hebrew University in Jerusalem has hailed the find as "spectacular; this promises to shed light on the whole purpose of Christianity and the concept of religion as understood by Jesus himself". Here is one short section:
The Gospel of Zebedee
CHAPTER 7.
1. And Jesus travelled through the region, coming unto Samaria, and, behold, a great multitude did follow him, for his fame had spread abroad.
2. And coming to the edge of a forest, he sat and spake to the multitude, saying,
3. A young maiden with golden hair was walking through the woods, near the road from Jerusalem to Damascus, when she came upon an house, wherein lived three bears,
4. A father bear, a mother she-bear, and a baby bear, and they were a family of bears, and verily did enjoy breaking the night-time fast with morning porridge, which Mummy Bear did make, as is the wont of mummy bears, as ye all know.
5. Now the bears had departed from their abode for a short while, that the porridge may cool, for it was hot hot hot, and they did take a walk in the woods, mayhap to carry out that thing that bears do in woods. Verily. They do. Even Elisha knew this.
There are several more pages of the Lost Gospel that have yet to be translated from the original, but it is clear that this may change Christianity for ever. And this is a parable within a parable.
He or she that has ears to hear, let him/her hear. Or if they don't have ears, that's OK. Or whatever.
Very funny. Got me worried I'd missed some major news then...
ReplyDeleteIan, there is more where that came from! Isn't it strange how moral concepts work their way into stories that become so ingrained into human consciousness that we almost forget they're there? ;-)
ReplyDeleteShane, I'm post this here cos I know you'll it put it up. Seeing as we're dealing with the discovery of new gospels:
ReplyDeleteMatthew 21: 1-2
And when they had got reasonably close to Jersualem Jesus said to his disciples, “Boys! That village frenenst us, yes, thon one over thonder, well, if yis head over til it y’ll find a donkey tied til a fence, it’s roun aboot the edge of toun, an’ y’know wha, there’ll be a wean tied up wi ‘er. A wean, mind, ye know, the wean of the donkey. An’ here’s what ye hav’ t’ do. Grab thon couple of bastes, untie them and bring them back to me. An’ remember, wean! The wean of the donkey. ;-)”
Peter
Peter, that's great - a translation of the Bible into Ulster Scots! Almost as worthy a project as the translation into LOLcats :-)
ReplyDelete