The Parable of the Cube and the Crazy People

And Jesus said unto his disciples: Sit down, chaps. You're going to love this one.

A man was walking on the road from Capernaum to Ginosar, and waxed thirstful. He stopped at a well, and had a drink. Beside the well lay a Rubik's cube which was jumbled up, and he picked it up and looked at it. As he started to twist it, behold, a Pharisee leapt out of the bushes (there were some bushes beside the well - did I mention that? Well there were.)

What doest thou, thou blasphemer?! yelled the Pharisee. Dost thou not know that this is the Holy Cube, and has been given unto us as it is, never to be touched, for it is perfect?!

Your arse, said the man. It's all jumbled up - look, there are blues and greens and yellows and whites and reds and oranges all over the shop - it's hopelessly jumbled. But I am a very clever chap, and I can *do* Rubik's cubes - I can solve these babies oh yeah.

But the Pharisee waxed ever angrier. No, thou evildoer - the cube is perfect, and can never be touched. Here. Give it back. Now feck off.

The man walked on until he came to another well (hot day, still thirsty, no water bottles back then, OK?). Beside it was another Rubik's cube, much the same as the last one, except for a couple of twists. He picked it up and was about to start solving it when out jumps an Essene (bushes here too), and demands that he stop.

But your cube is jumbled! said the man.

Yes, said the Essene, but to fix it you must not twist it around, for that would be blasphemy. Instead you must peel off all the stickers and put them on in the pattern of holiness.

Which would be? inquired the man, who was becoming a little perplexed at the misplaced reverence shown to this object.

It's a secret, said the Essene, grabbing the cube. Now feck off.

And feck off he did. At the next well, he picked up the next cube, and yadda yadda and out jumps a Nazarene.

[Hey, isn't that us? said Simon Peter. Yes, said Jesus, but shut up. This is important.]

This cube is as it is because of the Fall, said the Nazarene. You're just making it worse.

Making it worse? said the man - it's a mess!

Yes, but the Son of Man will come on the clouds of heaven and solve the cube!

But I can solve it now; I just have to do a load of twists and rotations, and it'll get there.

No, said the Nazarene, the Son of Man will solve it with one twist.

Like feck he will, said the man. Look, I appreciate your beliefs, but you have no evidence for them.

The evidence is in the messed up state of the cube! said the Nazarene. What was perfect is now imperfect.

Why will none of you let me try to solve the cube? asked the man.

Don't you get it? said the Nazarene. You cannot solve the cube by yourself, other than by taking it apart and putting it back together again.

How do you know? said the man.

It is folly to try! said the Nazarene. Now give me my cube and bugger off.

And the man walked on.

[Simon Peter said: Lord, what the feck was that all about?
Jesus replied: Give me a while - I'm working on it, OK?]